As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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