just come out here and I will go home with you...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
