At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
