Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
