Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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