Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
