he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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