drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize