He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think my tv is drunk
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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