i may or may not be watching the land before time
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize