I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My first STD was from a foam party
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
