Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
