I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
