there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
