careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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