In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
