i think i have herpe
just one?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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