Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
