That's intense
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
