I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
