Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
