so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
