New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
