it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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