...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
