I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
