You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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