so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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