When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
