New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
