Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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