Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
