made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
