and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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