how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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