If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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