You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
