Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
