Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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