i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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