Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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