I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
