Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
