I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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