he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
this hospital has no fireball
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
