I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize