Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
