brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
