Nicole vs. Life
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
