Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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