she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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