Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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