I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
