I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
