we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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