She is in my trunk
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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