after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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