he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize