We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
