glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
