My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
