sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize