I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
