I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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