Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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