Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
