I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize