Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
