Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize