If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
high people should be assigned attendants
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
