What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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