Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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